Torie Tells Stories

I just turned 26 on May 26 in 2026 and I celebrated by having champagne in the Champagne region of France on my champagne birthday. I could never have imagined this future for myself even a few years ago, yet it was a complete dream come true. Birthdays are a time of reflection for me and this year I thought a lot about how we’re constantly exposed to peoples highlight reels without ever knowing what happened behind the scenes to make it to that point. We always celebrate the highlight moments, but we tend to forget about all the little moments that made the highlights a reality. We even do it to ourselves, refusing to acknowledge our own progress until something big happens, and even then, sometimes we shrug it off as no big deal. This champagne birthday trip was a huge highlight for me, and it wouldn’t have been possible without all the growth I’ve been working for over the last few years.

A lot of this trip would have been a physical impossibility even just a few years ago. After I broke my back, basic tasks like sitting and standing became painful, and that pain persisted for years. This trip required a roughly nine hour plane ride each way. We spent hours riding on trains. I carried my backpack around Paris all afternoon before we got to our hotel. We walked non-stop for three full days, including twelve kilometers up a mountain in the Alps. There was a time not that long ago when any one of these things would have challenged me, or even caused intense pain. On this trip, I never thought twice about it, and I didn’t have any pain. Having a body capable of seeing the world is something I’ll never take for granted.

I’ve spent a lot of my life not allowing myself to have fun. Somewhere along the way I internalized the idea that I had to be “good” and responsible to be okay. Knowing that I always do the “right” responsible thing was a core belief I had about myself, and that didn’t leave much room for me to let loose and completely enjoy myself. Even when I was doing objectively fun things, I was often worrying about making sure they went “right” and that I was enjoying it enough. I’m not saying I never had fun, just that responsibility always came first. Running away to France on a short, last minute trip is not what I would have defined as responsible. Over the last two years, I’ve been learning how to truly have fun. My partner has been a huge help in this and, thanks to a few years of actively allowing myself to have fun, I was able to completely enjoy every second of this trip, without spending any time trying to assess if I was having enough fun.

Similarly, I’ve never been very good at going with the flow. My dad once lovingly told me I roll like a flat tire, that is to say, not well at all. I’ve always liked it when things are controllable and going to plan so I can make sure it’s going “good enough”. Since my dad pointed it out to me during the pandemic, I’ve been learning how to roll like a full tire, even when things aren’t going according to plan at all. This allowed me to be spontaneous on this trip. I did some research so I had a general idea of what there was to see in the cities we were visiting, but we only firmly planned two things. The rest of our time, we left open for whatever adventure might arise. I even navigated changes in our plan like train delays and being stuck in a completely different city without ever getting completely flat. I might have lost a little air at some points, but I was still able to keep rolling.

Finally, the belief that I’m still struggling with, that almost stopped me from going at all: the belief that I don’t deserve good things. I’ve worked hard over many years to believe that I deserve the things that I want for my life. I’ve made some progress, but I’ve mostly succeeded at believing that I can build my dream life in the future. That eventually I’ll have earned it, and then I can have good things. Travel is a huge part of my dream life, and flying off to Paris for a quick five day trip is right up my alley, but my belief that I didn’t deserve it yet almost stopped me from going. Luckily, I’ve done enough work and had the support to recognize the thoughts that were holding me back and put them to the side.

So why does it matter? I hope this encourages you to remember how far you’ve come. Its easy to forget to notice how our life has shifted because it often happens so gradually it’s almost imperceptible. This trip was so much more than a champagne birthday. It was years of work coming together to allow me to experience something out of my dream life, and I’m very proud of that. We are all putting in invisible work to achieve our dream lives everyday, and we all deserve to take a moment to celebrate that. Maybe you do it after a big milestone or on an exciting trip, but I think it would be even better if we all started to notice the small progress we’re making everyday.